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| REUTERS (22), REX USA (4) |
A little over a week ago, 1 innocent mother, 6 elementary school staff members, and 20 babies aged six and seven and lost their lives. It was a tragic, sickening day. When anyone is killed, it is tragic, but there is something much more incomprehensible when a child is involved. A child. Twenty children. Children who, as President Obama said, "had their entire lives ahead of them -- birthdays, graduations, weddings, kids of their own."
In times like these, we, as humans, can not help to ask the questions, "Why?" and "How could this happen?" We look for reasons and sources of comfort. I do not believe or belong to any particular religion, but I do believe in a higher power. In her fantastic blog on the topic, Mayim Bialik discusses her views to the question “Where was God?”
"Am I a “Everything’s great in God’s world” blind faith religious fanatic? Not at all. That’s not my shtick. I simply don’t believe in a God that monitors the world and eliminates evil and makes way for good as I deem it. I think history has demonstrated that that kind of God simply doesn’t exist and although there are strains of religions that believe God is weeding out the unworthy and the sinners, that doesn’t fly with me.
The Judeo-Christian God is a vengeful one for sure. And the Old Testament God rains down terror on the unworthy and sinner left right and center. But that’s not the whole picture of God. God has a path for all of us, and the path includes free will, and it includes evil, and it includes mental illness, and it includes all of us living on this crazy planet trying to survive and thrive and procreate and make something beautiful from the human condition which is, frankly, very complicated.
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God does not get to step in and save who we want saved, even if it’s small children in Sandy Hook who I wish could have been saved. We can’t understand God. That’s why God is God and we are not."
I found her words soothing.
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I first heard a clue that something had gone wrong while on the way to my chiropractor around noon. The radio announcer on light 98 said something to the extent of "There has been an accident in Connecticut ...well, a shooting." She said to go to their sister station for updates and they continued to play Christmas music. I was worried, but very sadly, it would seem that I was numb to hearing "shooting" and I went along with my appointment and drove to my parent's house listening to a cd without a second thought. When I arrived, my parents had the TV on mute, which was strange. I greeted my kids who had stayed with my parents while I was at the chiropractor, then I sat down on the couch and read the caption at the bottom of the screen "At least 18 children dead in Elementary School shooting" and my heart dropped. The kids were both doing other things and not giving the TV a second glance. When the police held a press conference, I gave the kids the iPad in the other room to watch cartoons so that we could unmute the TV.
Through the next hours and the next few days, the news was just more and more tragic. When the pictures of the children started to appear, I had an even harder time keeping my emotions contained.
I held my babies tight and was so thankful that they were with me.
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| REUTERS / EMILIE PARKER MEMORIAL FUND |
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My children rarely see any news, especially right now. I will not be telling them about this tragedy for a long time. Innocence only lasts for so long, and enough children were stripped on theirs that day. My children do not attend school, so I am not worried about them hearing it from somewhere else. If they do hear something and have questions, I will answer them as best and simply as I can.
Some have views about being completely honest with their children about everything that happens in the world. To them, not telling a child everything that is happening in the world is sheltering them. Knowledge is power after all right? In the matter of tragic events such as this, I feel that there is no benefit to telling them. The only thing that would happen would be added stress, fear, and sadness.
Rainbow Girl knows that there are bad people in the world. She is not oblivious to that. At this point in her life, there is no need to know much more than that.
Will you or have you already told your children about the tragedy at Sandy Hook? How old is/are your child(ren)?
I have told my kids. Had my oldest been only 6, I wouldn't have, but my oldest is almost 11. I wish my 6 year old didn't know. My husband mentioned it 'casually' over a family lunch on Friday. I had no choice but to say something.
ReplyDeleteThey know very little and the news is on only after they are in bed. I feel like my 11 year old is old enough to know about these things, however, as she deals with some anxiety, I keep it basic. I do try to tell her so she gets the info. from me rather than from a friend or in a public setting. That would be more upsetting to her. At least I have given her the info at a level that works for her and her anxiety, but she knows what is going on and doesn't wonder what the heck people are talking about.
I'm sure I sound like an overprotective Mother, but as you said....they are only young once. I would like to protect that innocence and as I have one that struggles with anxiety I have to been careful for her sake.
Thanks for your post and opening a dialog.
KC
Thank you for your reply!
DeleteI also dealt with anxiety as a child, and always had a tummy ache before going ANYWHERE. I still have that problem, but have brought in under control a bit more in adulthood.
As a child, I was always watching the news. It was my dad's "favorite show." I do not blame him for that. He is of the belief that knowledge is power. I recall in great detail seeing the Oklahoma City bombing on tv as it was happening, and hearing children had died. I was 7.5. I also recall all of the details of the OJ Simpson fiasco in that same period of time.
As you said, I do think that at age 11, she is at an age where she WILL hear of it elsewhere, so hearing it from you first would definitely be best.